It struck me, then I packed and went with my heart
I received a call from my husband when the clock at the bottom right of my laptop showed "1:46 PM", asking if I was up for a movie with him tonight.
Looking at the remaining workload at hand before I could call it a day, I thought I would probably be too mentally exhausted to enjoy a movie by the evening. Anyway, I told him I would confirm with him around 4.30pm but highly likely would be back from work later than usual.
"That's alright. Take care and don't overwork yourself. Love you."
Love you too, dear. Now, back to work.
The clock at the bottom right of my laptop kept running. When I saw it hitting "4:32 PM", I swiftly grabbed my phone and texted him that I would prefer to rest tonight. Then, I got my fingers back on the keypad of my laptop and my mouse. The reporting period was always the busiest time at work. I usually tried to do enough for each day and not to go home late from work, but it was just a few more performance data to analyze and I could wrap this report up to focus on kicking start the "ToHerHeart Anniversary" project with the team.
Anyway, I needed to see Daisy J at the other corner, for the market share data this month. She had not been responding to my emails and chat messages asking for these updates since last week. This is where physical interaction came in handy at work.
I carried my notebook and my favorite pink pen and I walked over to her place. From a few steps away from her desk, I frowned as I saw it was someone else sitting at her desk. Where could she be? I didn't know she moved to a different workstation, or was she on leave and currently covered by someone else?
As I tried to make sense of the possible scenarios of why she was not at her desk in my head, I continued to approach her desk and the woman who was already sliding into a slump at Daisy's seat slowly moved up her head to look at me.
Oh, my goodness! I almost expressed a reaction when I saw her face.
Why was Daisy J becoming like this? That sunshine, happy-go-lucky lady who always brightened up the office for everyone with her nicely blown hair, beautiful makeup, and elegant earrings, in her stylish outfits. She looked like she had aged a decade overnight with her heavy dark eye circles, slightly puffy eyes, and a sick look, in her navy buttoned shirt and a pair of black slacks.
As soon as we locked eyes, she teared up and was about to break down in tears. I hurried over to hold her arm and led her to the pantry just two workstations behind hers and whispered to her, "What happened?"
She held herself together until we got into the pantry, and then she burst into tears.
"My husband asked for a divorce earlier this month. I didn't see it coming. I thought I was doing everything right. I worked hard for our family, I made sure I always looked great so he would always be proud of being with me."
I held her hand as I listened to her sobbing and telling me all that she was going through with her husband this past month.
And then something she told me about what her husband said to her struck me: "He said it's always about me, what I like, what I don't like, that he felt neglected for too long in this partnership, and he decided he needed to live for himself. Why did he think that I neglected him? Have I not.."
I didn't absorb what Daisy J said after that. I could not remember how I said goodbye to her and how I returned to my desk after.
I was staring blankly into my laptop screen when my eyes finally caught the clock at the bottom right of my laptop turning "5:12 PM".
It struck me when I saw the displayed date under "5:12 PM". After 1 second of inaction, I immediately began packing my stuff and went with my heart. My heart wanted to be home, near him, right now.
"It's always about me" and "he felt neglected for too long" kept lingering on my mind on my way home. Yea, how could I forget that it's our anniversary today? And my husband was essentially asking me out for a date, it's not about the movie.
When I walked out of the office building, I looked up and the sky had turned dark. I wondered what he would be doing right now. Sanding and painting his bike? Cooking his favorite Shin Ramen? Sitting on the couch watching one of his subscribed YouTube channels?
The edges of my lips curved up as I thought about the wide smile on his face when he saw me home. My steps kept moving. Through the escalator. Through the zebra crossing. Through the apartment carpet. Into and out of the lift. And then I stopped in front of a door.
Without further delay, I scanned my fingerprint on the access pad and pushed the door open. Soon, my excited heart went cold, and the feeling of emptiness started to creep in.